we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
