I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and she was petting her beer can
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
