I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize