at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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