You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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