i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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