paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
