I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
