This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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