Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You pole danced in your parka.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
