Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
