playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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