apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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