this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
