So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i believe in u and ur pee
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
