i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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