Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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