I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
