why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
