he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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