Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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