By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
