Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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