Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well you can't waste a boner
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
