Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
