A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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