why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
