I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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