We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
