WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She needs sedatives and a leash
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
