I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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