hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
