i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
