we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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