just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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