My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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