Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
