but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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