i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
