Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
