Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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