Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
