It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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