Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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