we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize