3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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