4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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