I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
