It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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