Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
