Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
