We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
