the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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