go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
bring money and cleavage
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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