That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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