we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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