i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
