If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
