you mean i was at the winter classic?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
