Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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