3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
...so i touched it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
