mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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