:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
