Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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