Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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