just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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