You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
