i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
