I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
