...so i touched it.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
