It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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