I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
